Climb

Mom asked me if I was still “climbing walls.”

That was how she said it in Mandarin. I said yes. She made a face.

She thought me rash, climbing: such a dangerous activity.

Maybe she is right.

(Every time guests go to the climbing gym I hear employees give them the legal spiel: “…Climbing is a dangerous sport…”)

[May 2014]

I told her, “It’s such a high”, the way an addict talked about a hit.

The first time I climbed I could not close my fists. I struggled to hold the steering wheel to drive home. Every inch of skin on my fingers seemed to hurt.

Climbing pain,
Trading away other pains,
Sweet, sweet climbing pain
For emotional mental pain.

[June 2014]

My friend CK said, You come up with ways to climb on that I wouldn’t even think about.

My friend AT said to my husband, I wish Jane was here so I can see how she does this statically {versus a dyno or dynamic move}.

(Because I am short, you see.
I have to be resourceful.
Being resourceful was how I survived.)

[August 2014]

The first time I solve a boulder problem is to know it is feasible.
The second, third, tenth time is to make solving the problem look beautiful.

I used to climb to trade one pain for another.
Now I climb to experience beauty.